Friday, March 22, 2013


There is one scripture I still believe in wholeheartedly.  It says that perfect love casts out fear.  I think it's more a matter of good reasoning and acceptance of reality doing the casting out.  Words are sometimes imperfect in transmitting all there is in a concept.

I believe fear is the greatest enemy we have to face in life.  It leads us to "settle" for the familiar and the safe, to comprise with our deepest needs and desires and a multitude of other evils.

I'm sure even the greatest and most successful among us have had to struggle against the monster of fear many times during their lives.  The most successful are those who squared their shoulders, made a decision and ploughed ahead.

When my department was precipitously demolished by the leaders of the cult I had fallen for, I was completely at sea.  I could have, like many did, desperately sought a way back into some other position, to the delight of the power-mad people in control who would have continued their campaigns to assure that everyone was acceptably humble and groveled just right.

It took about three years for me to find and settle upon a self-employed occupation that eventually led to the real fulfillment with which my life has been blessed.

For years, I desperately held onto my first marriage and tried every way I could think of to asuage the discontent and accede to the demands of my then wife.  Once I realized it was a hopeless endeavor, if I was to maintain any self-esteem, and developed the determination to accept the obvious, fear lost its power over me, and I was able to set out to build a new life.

It was easier the next time around to let my second wife separate from me over my teen-age daughter coming to live with me and not fearfully send her back to the overbearing rule of her mother just to not have to endure the uncomfortable aspects of having to again live alone without the comforts of companionship, regular sex, a sense of stability, etc.  In the end, it all worked out to my overall benefit.

Fear leads people to compromise with their deepest innermost needs.  It leads them to stay with jobs that demean them and sap their very souls.  I leads them to stay where they are and not move to a better and more soul-nourishing environment because they fear giving up associations, familiar surroundings, support networks, etc.

I've been back to California many times since I left there in 1981.  I could have found many reasons not to come to Arizona, and all would have been based (and quite logically so) on fear.

I did come.  I had to face difficulties.  I had to find solutions.  It was not all a "walk in the park."  Overall, I'm forever grateful I found the courage and determination to do it.

Same with coming to Cottonwood.

However it might be stated, fear is an enemy if it takes over one's life so thoroughly that no logical change can be made.  There is a time to say:  "This is the situation.  This is where I am.  I can do this, or that or something else.  This looks best in the long run.  I'm going for it.  Somehow, it will work out."

No comments:

Post a Comment