Saturday, January 7, 2012


We were sitting in our easy chairs a while ago watching TV. Our two Pomeranian male dogs immediately took up their customary stances of gazing adoringly and demandingly into our eyes, then vaulting into our laps with all their demanding worshipfulness.

This is OK for a few moments, but it gets old rather quickly, especially when one wants to concentrate on the TV. Instead of lying down between my legs and leaving me in peace, Trouble, the oldest one and constantly alpha male-striving one, kept trying to force his way into my face where he could dog kiss me and demand my total attention. It got so annoying that I put the foot rest down and moved forward to force him back on the floor where he could engage in his “worship” from a distance.

It struck me how similar the situation was to the average person's concept of their relationship with their all-powerful, all-knowing, all-everything fantasy god.

Think about it for a moment! What does the Bible human narcissists created picture as the kind of god they confidently state sits on that heavenly throne?


He's surrounded by worshipful sycophants who do nothing but praise him day and night and cast their crowns at his feet – FOR ALL ETERNITY! Many Christians think that is the kind of thing they are going to do for all eternity! They're breathlessly anticipating it!

Maybe our dogs get satisfaction from doing that occasionally when the opportunity presents itself. They're very intelligent creatures, but their awareness and creative needs are rather limited. They don't even know, I'm pretty sure, that their existence is finite. They just know about right now and the fact that their every need and requirement is supplied by Phyllis and me. You might say that we are their gods. We certainly get worshiped.

All the Abrahamic religions have basically the same concept. They are convinced that everything good they receive is attributable to their god. (They like to convince themselves that the bad is due to the “other guy.” But, they're clearly not too sure about that.) Their god is in control. But, like a dog, they have to hound and beg him to make sure he pays attention to their needs and desires or doesn't carelessly allow some horrible thing to transpire.

So, they pray. Most prayer can be characterized as hounding a “god” who is so inept that he doesn't know how to run things without their implorings and remindings. They're absolutely convinced that if they have faith enough, they can change their perfect, all-knowing, but woefully incompetent, god's mind.

Religions were drempt up and primarily set up by human narcissists. They were dead set on being in charge and looked upon as final authorities. They demanded the groveling worship of the populace, and since all gods are created in the image of their originators, the gods they created of course had to be pictured basking in the same kind of groveling subservience. Many of them can never seem to get enough ass-kissing to satisfy their narcissistic neediness. Herbert Armstrong, Roderick Meredith, etc. come to mind. The world is full of them.

We see the same mental sickness at work in politically religious nations like North Korea. The supreme leaders become human gods, and living in such societies would make the fiction of hell look like a summer camp.

So would the average person's concept of heaven, if you carry it to its logical reality.

If I, a mere human, get impatient with a dog's hounding worshipfulness in just a few minutes, what would a super being such as people are convinced their god is feel after millenniums of fawning, bowing, praising, casting of crowns, etc., etc., add the proverbial nauseum.

Even if someone had the marvelous singing voice of a Carusso or Mario Lanza, belting out "How Great Thou Art" would get tedious and boring after just a little while, and even a Kim Jong Anything would soon be ready to scream "Enough, already!" But, apparently heaven is set up to have the needle stuck on the record forever.

And, I'm supposed to look forward to this kind of eternal ass-kissing? I do like to compliment people when they deserve it, but I don't follow them around or sit before them for an eternity doing so. No sane being, omni-something or not, would want me to.

So, if you feel you've lost something if you no longer look forward to that kind of eternity, think again. Think long and hard. Do you really want to be a heavenly pomeranian or poodle gazing into the face of the ultimate narcissist?

For an eternity, yet?


  1. Nice one, Al! I particularly love the heavenly pomeranian line.

    I've also stated my opinion that humans must be so vain that we can't imagine a time when we would NOT be living. It's true that we cannot remember that time before birth when we were apparently NOT living, and we seem to feel there is just no way that state could exist - that state of other life going on once ours meets its logical end. Vanity of vanities...

  2. That's the last concept with tendrils still anchored in my mind, Mark. Much as reason tells me it probably is not true and all the ghost stories, NDEs and other spiritual stuff are probably illusionary, there is still the nagging hope that death is not truly death in the ultimate sense.

    Guess I'm just as vain as the next guy. No need to worry about it. Whatever is just is. For sure, it can't be that heavenly Pomeranian fate.