Yeah, what is on my mind tonight? So many things it's hard to choose between them.
I just know that I feel that need to write again. It's the same urge that led our species to gather together into clans, villages, cities and nations. We need that pack-like atmosphere, whether around a village firepit, the local bar, a family dinner table, a club, church or lodge, etc. or, now, on twitter and the internet.
I was miserable stranded out there on that ranch as a kid. The only respite was from the work involved and the occasional trip to town or a rare visit by someone, usually many years my senior. I was socially backward and so damn lonely and frustrated. The hormones were driving me toward finding a mate, but the prospects weren't very good or encouraging.
My escape came through the cult that monopolized about two decades of my life. I have mixed feelings about that, but it did get me out of a totally nowhere place and made possible my eventual development.
Ambassador College was a rather poor excuse for a reputable institution of higher learning with theocaratic authoritarianism, superstition and mythology permeating everything, but it did extricate me from a social blackhole and give me the opportunity to develop my talents in communication. Some who know me now would be shocked to see me as I was in my late teens. Getting away from that limiting atmosphere was my salvation, much as I despise the connotations of that word.
As I've said before, I've lived many lives in this one life and each has had its part in making me who I am today. I doubt anyone is totally satisfied with everything that has transpired in their individual life. The variables and happenstances, Ill thought out decisions, etc. are inescapable. Everyone experiences a great variety, and as the years pile up, about the best we can conclude is that it was one hell of a ride!
Overall, I'm content. Regrets are few. Like that farmous tombstone said about another struggling human: Ive done my damnedest!